Haitin Divorce (an unadulterated rant)

Haiti has had an earthquake. Aye, Haiti where the national religion is voodoo and there are actually people who are bona fide registered as "zombies". (I shit you not) Let's send them money coz when yer shanty town shack has fell doon and you've no insurance and the government have a cabinet minister to protect people from the "heebie jeebies" that's a good investment. Aye, I'm John Travolta and I drove a plane here full of food for people who are sustainance farmers, to whom a sack of rice is 3 years worth of work and now I'm appalled at them fighting over it like savages! Here's whit tae dae. Haiti is next door to the Dominican Republic. All inclusive holiday? Wedding on a Carribean beach? Trade it in for a months rubble piling in nearby Haiti. Think aboot it. Los Angeles could be earthquaked any day now. Will the good folk of Haiti fly in to John Travolta's hoose wi a sackfull of corn? Naw. He's got insurance. He's got the American government to sort oot his natural disaster. If they fight it's coz they're starving. We're greedy: no them. Look in yer fridge. You could feed a couple of families and no be out of pocket. Forget money, it's just a bit of paper. Whit use is a precious stone at a time like this? Gold bars? Surplus metal. Love someone, in Haiti or next door. That's what we're all hungry for. (Rant over)

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Extract 2

A shambled bus, empty like a forlorn fresh dug grave hissed past with hydraulics and its infernal consumption engine dusted behind it, heading to some closed up for the night depot with cold goodbyes and a signature for security and a shuffle home to grey sheets in an unmade bed. Watching it and its green glow insides all desolate made me turn my collar as I went on to where it had been before there was nothing left but sleep and a mechanical sigh.

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Free writing from quotes

"One of my favorite philosophical tenets is that people will agree with you only if they already agree with you. You do not change people's minds." Frank Zappa

Inside us all is a 'real me'. This is the things that makes you upset with regret or that makes you blush when you make an arse of yourself. It knows you so well and cringes when you over perform or do something out of character. You should get to know this 'real me' and ask it for some advice. It's very very wise and is the best person on earth to take care of you. Sometimes you have to teach it to love the rest of you. But it's usually right. Trust it. Throw it a party. It will probably clean up the next day while the rest of you is asleep.

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Crabs

Once viewed as an expensive delicacy only to be savoured on special occasions, crab is enjoying a resurgance in popularity thanks to its new status as a superfood.

According to a report by analysts TNS, sales of all types of crab have risen by almost 50%in the past year in the UK.

Stewart Crighton, general manager of the Orkney Fishermen’s Society said: “Undoubtedly crab sales have taken off. Part of the reason is that crab is now being eaten in a lot of different ways. It is being offered as an ingredient and with other seafood such as langoustine and mussels.”

Health conscious customers are recognising that crab meat is low in fat, high in minerals and a good source of iron, potassium, selenium and omega 3.

The shellfish has had exposure from celebrity chefs having appeared on Gordon Ramsay’s the F Word and Rick Stein has included it in his recipe books.

Environmentally conscious consumers opt for crab as a sustainable fish and a viable alternative to consuming breeds of fish from dwindling stocks.

Retailers are meeting the demand for the shellfish with Marks & Spencer introducing Snow Crab Legs priced at £6.99 for 100 grams.

Pisces Fishmongers in Hamilton report that more customers are ordering crab meat due to its exposure on television programmes and magazines.

Brigitte Read from the Sea Fish Industry Authority says: “Crab is now far more available. Previously, you could only get dressed crab or whole crab but now you can get it in lots of different ways that are easier for customers to eat.”

CRAB FACTS

1.5 million tonnes of crab meat is consumed world wide every year.

There has been a 20% increase in the UK catch in the last year.

One third of that catch (around 7000 tonnes) comes from the West coast of Scotland.

Brown crab is the most common edible crab caught in Scotland.

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Psalm 24

In the dim, candle lit sanctuary priests glide noiselessly across polished floors. The air was heavy with a reverent silence broken only by the murmur of votaries and pilgrims. At the entrance, water trickled into golden bowls where the faithful washed their hands, making themselves pure.

They were here to see the king, to seek his justice and to align themselves with this mighty one. They were cleansed, shining with oil, smelling of precious ointments, dressed in the finest festal robes, perfect, ready to meet the king.

Suddenly, the silence was broken: “Doors! Open the doors!” The doorkeepers were confused: “What? Who for?” “Doors! Open up! The king returns from battle!” The doors were hastily pushed open as one doorkeeper asked another: “Who’s coming?” “Dunno. Something about a king?”

Still the order was ringing: “Doors! Open the doors!”

In strode a giant of a man, the conquering king, his great chest heaving from the exertion of warfare. His helmet fell with a crash on the spotless floor and sweat dripped from his brow, thick with grime and gore. His hands were drenched in the blood of his enemies.

The pilgrims were stunned as he turned to them, and, with a smile, holding out his arms said: “Welcome to my temple.”

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Hero Worship

Laying traps with carpets is the reality we fable-ize as sweeping them under there like a spider in a glass yeah great it’s no longer scuttling, crashing in its offensive arachnid manner but now you fear the glass and the little mind’s eye circle of influence around it until someone sees it for what it is, a puny tiny thing terrified that needs freeing, needs dealt with in a permanent way, no longer a hash-bash one up one down lean to ramshackle temporary elastoplast job that creates further issues without addressing the main deal.

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Pleasant Distraction

The drone of a bumble bee

Joining birdsong’s chatter

Making me look up

From the sunsoaked page

The ink flowing so slowly

Undisciplined thoughts

Drifting from this place

To join with a girl

Who lives in another town

Who cannot be here

Making me wistful

Stealing half my mind

My eyes close, her face appears

I have to give in

Smiling I put down

The pen for a while

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Loosened

Thoughts weary me

Worry me

Cause chemicals

To course

Cascade

Setting me on edge

Of my teeth

Of razor

Slits serrations

Of sin

Sinew

Making me all tight

Like a drum

As skin

Set crawling

And creeping

Clawing

At my mind

The gap please

Your head

And its whilrlwind

Of whips

Wailing

Making you cry

Like a baby

Havoc

And loose the thoughts

Of war

Against yourself

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Value

Inspired

Despite

Despair

In hope

In lieu

Of fear

Hopeful

Careful

Special

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